Today is January 1st, 2015. It's a day to be reflective. Millions of people spent last night talking about 2014. And, depending on who you ask, it was either the best year of their life, or the shittiest. I don't think it's fair to classify an entire year as good or bad. There are 365 days in 2014. Each day has a different feeling, a different memory. Some I'll remember forever, some I wish I could forgot, but either way, I can't judge an entire year based on one memory. Let's look back...
I've always been deemed a pessimist so why not start with the bad; I got dumped. Everybody goes through it at some point in their life, some more times than others. Unfortunately, love is a part of life. When the object of your love is taken away it hurts. There's no denying it. I got dumped by someone who I had planned on asking to marry me. Had it all planned out, was even saving up for a ring. And I've heard every cliche since the break up. "She doesn't deserve you", "there are more fish in the sea", "there's someone out there for everyone and you'll find your someone when you least expect it." All these sayings come from a kind place, but that's all they are; sayings. They don't mean anything to me. All I wanted was for someone to tell me that it was ok to be pissed off and I should be upset. I love my friends and family to death, but unfortunately I don't feel comfortable talking to them about this stuff anymore because I never feel good about myself afterwards. Maybe that's my fault.
The good; I got a puppy for Christmas. Since I built my house a few years ago, I've wanted a dog. I just never pulled the trigger on it because I was worried I might not be able to handle it. Plus, I live alone and I knew it would be my responsibility to take care of it. I knew I was getting the dog for awhile, just not for Christmas. When I looked into that puppy's eyes on Christmas morning, I wanted to cry. It was without a doubt my happiest moment of 2014 and the love I already have for him is almost unbearable.
The bad; I turned 28. Although this is a minimally painful moment in my life, it still ranks up there in the bad category. I'm so close to 30 and I feel like I haven't accomplished the things I wanted to accomplish. No wife, no kids, no idea of what I want to do career-wise. When I was 14, I had it in my mind that all these things would happen in my early 20's. Making plans has always been a problem for me because plans always seem to have a way of changing. I see that now more than ever.
The good; I found out I'm going to be an uncle. My younger brother and his girlfriend found out this year that they are having a little girl. I'm beyond excited for him because I've never seen him happier. I always worried he wouldn't find his way in life, but he has his shit together. I know he'll be a good father and I know his girlfriend loves him. I can't wait to meet my little niece.
The bad; I found out I'm going to be an uncle. It pains me to classify this moment as both good and bad, but I've got to get this off my chest; I'm beyond jealous. My brother is four years younger than me and he's getting all the things out of life that I've always wanted. I would never tell him this because it's not supposed to be about me and I feel like a dickhead for even remotely feeling this way. But I can't control my feelings. Believe me, if I could, I would change a lot of them. I won't be the guy who took this happy moment away from my brother. No matter how fucked up my head feels.
The good; I started doing yoga. I felt so good about myself during a time when I needed it most. My body felt better, my mind felt better. Yoga really does work and I wouldn't have thought it did unless I tried.
The bad; I stopped doing yoga. I have a tendency of not following through on things. I'm working on that for 2015.
The good; I'm still alive. That may not seem like much of an accomplishment, but trust me when I say it is. I'm happy to be alive, whether I've had a good year or not, and I'll continue to survive through good and bad days in 2015.
-Ryan
www.drinknthinkn.com
Thursday, January 1, 2015
Wednesday, December 17, 2014
Entry #3
I miss feeling excited about things. The older you get, the more it seems like everything loses that "something special" that made you look forward to it whenever it happened. Like Christmas. When you're young, you count down the days until Christmas with that overpowering curiosity of what St. Nick will give you this year. But as a 28 year old single man with no kids, I just realized today that Christmas is already next week. I do love Christmas; the food, the gatherings. It truly is a wonderful day and I have no doubt that I will enjoy every second of it alongside my friends and family. But that feeling of excitement I used to get shortly after my October birthday knowing that Christmas was a mere two months away has been absent for years.
When you're a kid, you get excited about the simplest things. I remember being so excited to go to a Chinese food restaurant because that meant I got read my Chinese animal zodiac on the place mat. Or going to visit my great-grandmother at the end of the street because she always had a bowl of those strawberry flavored hard candies in the back room of her house. Even in high school, I'd get excited to go to a certain class because maybe the hot girl, who I had a crush on, would say "hi" to me again like she did last Tuesday.
I recently ended a relationship with someone who essentially told me I lack ambition. I took it to heart--as I do most things that are even remotely critical of my way of life--and tried my best to defend myself. But since then I've been asking myself what I want to do with my life almost daily and I still can't answer it.
I'm not a parent. And, in all honesty, I may never become one. However, I am surrounded by parents so I've seen my fair share of parenting styles. The one common trend I see within most of these styles is that every parent tells their kids they can be anything they want to be when they grow up. It is a parents' job to insure their children that their future is bright and free of sadness or harm. If I had kids, I would do the same thing; give them hope. Because every child deserves to believe that they can accomplish whatever they want and be excited about the future that's in front of them. My parents told me I could be anything and I believed them. And I was so excited for my future. I was going to be a professional wrestler, or a comedian, or the drummer of a rock band. I miss that feeling. That feeling of knowing that your future is ahead of you and it's a bright one.
I believe that most people at one point in their lives have to give up on some dreams. I mean, let's face it; some kids want to grow up to be Batman and I've yet to see a single person strolling down the streets with a rubber suit and a utility belt. I do worry that I gave up on my dreams too early and now it's too late to do what makes me happy. And, I don't even know what it is that would make me happy anymore.
I get made fun of quite a bit for acting like an old man, but the truth is I feel like I don't have all that much time left to figure out what I want. And, I worry that by the time I do figure out what I want, it'll be too late.
What do I want to be when I grow up? I don't know.
-Ryan
www.drinknthinkn.com
When you're a kid, you get excited about the simplest things. I remember being so excited to go to a Chinese food restaurant because that meant I got read my Chinese animal zodiac on the place mat. Or going to visit my great-grandmother at the end of the street because she always had a bowl of those strawberry flavored hard candies in the back room of her house. Even in high school, I'd get excited to go to a certain class because maybe the hot girl, who I had a crush on, would say "hi" to me again like she did last Tuesday.
I recently ended a relationship with someone who essentially told me I lack ambition. I took it to heart--as I do most things that are even remotely critical of my way of life--and tried my best to defend myself. But since then I've been asking myself what I want to do with my life almost daily and I still can't answer it.
I'm not a parent. And, in all honesty, I may never become one. However, I am surrounded by parents so I've seen my fair share of parenting styles. The one common trend I see within most of these styles is that every parent tells their kids they can be anything they want to be when they grow up. It is a parents' job to insure their children that their future is bright and free of sadness or harm. If I had kids, I would do the same thing; give them hope. Because every child deserves to believe that they can accomplish whatever they want and be excited about the future that's in front of them. My parents told me I could be anything and I believed them. And I was so excited for my future. I was going to be a professional wrestler, or a comedian, or the drummer of a rock band. I miss that feeling. That feeling of knowing that your future is ahead of you and it's a bright one.
I believe that most people at one point in their lives have to give up on some dreams. I mean, let's face it; some kids want to grow up to be Batman and I've yet to see a single person strolling down the streets with a rubber suit and a utility belt. I do worry that I gave up on my dreams too early and now it's too late to do what makes me happy. And, I don't even know what it is that would make me happy anymore.
I get made fun of quite a bit for acting like an old man, but the truth is I feel like I don't have all that much time left to figure out what I want. And, I worry that by the time I do figure out what I want, it'll be too late.
What do I want to be when I grow up? I don't know.
-Ryan
www.drinknthinkn.com
Wednesday, December 10, 2014
Entry #2
I used to skip classes quite a bit when I was in the eighth grade. It was common knowledge amongst the teachers that I had some stomach issues. So on several different occasions, I would simply tell the teacher I didn't feel good and I'd get to go to the nurse's office. The nurse had a little couch to lay on and I would just stay there until I felt like going back. I never really was that sick. I just didn't want to go to class. I think the nurse eventually picked up on it because she started calling my mom every time I would come in. And, when my mom got involved, I needed to come up with a new plan.
Eventually I came up with the brilliant idea that I would just skip my class without talking to the teacher first and just tell them if I saw them later that day that I was in the nurse's office with a tummy ache. This way, I could still use my "illness" to get out of class and I wouldn't have to worry about the nurse calling my mom. The only thing I needed to figure out was where to hide. I couldn't just roam the halls and hope no one noticed me or be the only kid out on the playground while all the other kids were learning about the different biological classifications(which, by the way, I still know to this day--kingdom, phylum, class, order, family, genus, species. SUCK IT!). So I had to think of a place that no one would check up on me or question why I was there. Then it came to me; The bathroom.
Whenever a class would come up with a teacher I didn't like or there was a test that I didn't study for, I'd just go sit in a stall in the boy's bathroom for 30 minutes, or however long the class was. It went on for most of the trimester. That is until progress reports came out and I had a solid 7.2 out of 100 in my language arts class. Plus, teachers started questioning each other as to where I was and even pulled me out of other classes to make up tests I missed. I think the big kicker came when the only classes I seem to be attending without a stomach ache were Art and Band. So, needless to say, I stopped skipping.
I often wonder, though, if that's why I find such comfort in the bathroom today. I mean, look at me. I'm writing a blog from my toilet because it's the only place I can comfortably consider sitting down and writing it. Maybe it's because when I'm here, I don't feel like I have worry about the stresses of the world. I know nobody is going to barge in and start demanding something. I don't have to worry about anything(unless I'm constipated or something, but that hasn't been an issue yet).
In eighth grade, the bathroom was my safety zone. And perhaps, subconsciously, I still relate sitting on the toilet to being free of worry...
**Flush**
-Ryan
www.drinknthinkn.com
Eventually I came up with the brilliant idea that I would just skip my class without talking to the teacher first and just tell them if I saw them later that day that I was in the nurse's office with a tummy ache. This way, I could still use my "illness" to get out of class and I wouldn't have to worry about the nurse calling my mom. The only thing I needed to figure out was where to hide. I couldn't just roam the halls and hope no one noticed me or be the only kid out on the playground while all the other kids were learning about the different biological classifications(which, by the way, I still know to this day--kingdom, phylum, class, order, family, genus, species. SUCK IT!). So I had to think of a place that no one would check up on me or question why I was there. Then it came to me; The bathroom.
Whenever a class would come up with a teacher I didn't like or there was a test that I didn't study for, I'd just go sit in a stall in the boy's bathroom for 30 minutes, or however long the class was. It went on for most of the trimester. That is until progress reports came out and I had a solid 7.2 out of 100 in my language arts class. Plus, teachers started questioning each other as to where I was and even pulled me out of other classes to make up tests I missed. I think the big kicker came when the only classes I seem to be attending without a stomach ache were Art and Band. So, needless to say, I stopped skipping.
I often wonder, though, if that's why I find such comfort in the bathroom today. I mean, look at me. I'm writing a blog from my toilet because it's the only place I can comfortably consider sitting down and writing it. Maybe it's because when I'm here, I don't feel like I have worry about the stresses of the world. I know nobody is going to barge in and start demanding something. I don't have to worry about anything(unless I'm constipated or something, but that hasn't been an issue yet).
In eighth grade, the bathroom was my safety zone. And perhaps, subconsciously, I still relate sitting on the toilet to being free of worry...
**Flush**
-Ryan
www.drinknthinkn.com
Sunday, December 7, 2014
Entry #1
Time is an incredibly wonderful, yet nauseatingly awful part of all of our lives. Some of us are blessed with an abundance of time, while other people's "to-do list" only gets longer as time races by like a cheetah on the hunt. Where does it go? And, why do we never have enough?
I find myself, these days, looking for the time to do the things I want, but only finding the time to do the things I need. That's not meant to be a complaint. It's more of an observation. I'd like to be able to record a podcast every weekend or write a blogpost once a week, but before I know it I'm consumed with things that are deemed "more important", when in my heart of hearts I'd rather be drinking an ice cold beer with Ben Lizzotte and Tony C. And, I'd put money on those two having the same dilemma. Should I sit down for an hour and laugh at butthole jokes while drinking beer with my buddies or should I sit down and balance my checkbook to make sure I can pay all the bills this month over a glass of chardonnay?
I feel it's important to make time for yourself. This blog is more than just me trying to be funny and getting people to read my writing; It's therapy. But, if in my mind I view it as a job that has to be done every Sunday night, I'm not going to do it. So, when do I make time to write?
It dawned on me a couple of weeks ago that the majority of the time, I come up with things I'd like to write about while sitting on the toilet. Because when I'm perched upon my throne, paying homage to the porcelain gods below, I have all of the time in the world. I'm not hurrying to get it done, I'm not thinking about everything else I have to do, I'm simply relaxing and letting my mind wander through any topic it wants.
**Pause for courtesy flush**
I feel like I should point out that this blog, which is being rebranded as "The Diarrhea Diaries", is not meant to be about poop. I mean, when you think about it, other than color, consistency, and that blissful feeling of relief that comes with dropping a deuce, what else is there really to talk about? Simply put, this blog is now being written entirely from my toilet. That may disgust some people, but I don't really care. This is my therapy and I'll do things my way. Plus, I once read an exhilarating book that informed me that everyone poops. So, it's not that weird to talk about.
As I sit here, I will write everything that crosses my mind on my yellow legal pad and transcribe it all onto my computer. Granted, pooping may come up from time to time, but let's be adults about it. Sometimes while I do my business, I think about TV and movies, other times I think about life in general. Like I said, when I'm here doing the do(do), my mind is free and clear to wander and anything else can wait.
Drink'n Think'n appears to be back in full swing, so we hope to have new content for our "fans" every week and so long as I don't run out of paper...
**Got nervous and double-checked to make sure there was toilet paper. There was.**
... I should have new blog material hopefully every weekend(Let me be clear that I do use the bathroom more than once every weekend, but let's be realistic. Not all my thoughts while "on the job" are keepers).
Here's to finding time. Now, if you'll excuse me, it's time to wipe...
-Ryan
www.drinknthinkn.com
I find myself, these days, looking for the time to do the things I want, but only finding the time to do the things I need. That's not meant to be a complaint. It's more of an observation. I'd like to be able to record a podcast every weekend or write a blogpost once a week, but before I know it I'm consumed with things that are deemed "more important", when in my heart of hearts I'd rather be drinking an ice cold beer with Ben Lizzotte and Tony C. And, I'd put money on those two having the same dilemma. Should I sit down for an hour and laugh at butthole jokes while drinking beer with my buddies or should I sit down and balance my checkbook to make sure I can pay all the bills this month over a glass of chardonnay?
I feel it's important to make time for yourself. This blog is more than just me trying to be funny and getting people to read my writing; It's therapy. But, if in my mind I view it as a job that has to be done every Sunday night, I'm not going to do it. So, when do I make time to write?
It dawned on me a couple of weeks ago that the majority of the time, I come up with things I'd like to write about while sitting on the toilet. Because when I'm perched upon my throne, paying homage to the porcelain gods below, I have all of the time in the world. I'm not hurrying to get it done, I'm not thinking about everything else I have to do, I'm simply relaxing and letting my mind wander through any topic it wants.
**Pause for courtesy flush**
I feel like I should point out that this blog, which is being rebranded as "The Diarrhea Diaries", is not meant to be about poop. I mean, when you think about it, other than color, consistency, and that blissful feeling of relief that comes with dropping a deuce, what else is there really to talk about? Simply put, this blog is now being written entirely from my toilet. That may disgust some people, but I don't really care. This is my therapy and I'll do things my way. Plus, I once read an exhilarating book that informed me that everyone poops. So, it's not that weird to talk about.
As I sit here, I will write everything that crosses my mind on my yellow legal pad and transcribe it all onto my computer. Granted, pooping may come up from time to time, but let's be adults about it. Sometimes while I do my business, I think about TV and movies, other times I think about life in general. Like I said, when I'm here doing the do(do), my mind is free and clear to wander and anything else can wait.
Drink'n Think'n appears to be back in full swing, so we hope to have new content for our "fans" every week and so long as I don't run out of paper...
**Got nervous and double-checked to make sure there was toilet paper. There was.**
... I should have new blog material hopefully every weekend(Let me be clear that I do use the bathroom more than once every weekend, but let's be realistic. Not all my thoughts while "on the job" are keepers).
Here's to finding time. Now, if you'll excuse me, it's time to wipe...
-Ryan
www.drinknthinkn.com
Saturday, June 28, 2014
Blogpost #6 - Girl Meets World Premiere
I wanted to write a quick response to last night's premiere of the much anticipated(at least by me) spin off of Boy Meets World, Girl Meets World.
Truth be told, there is somewhat of a nostalgic feel to the show that stems from the original. You can very much tell that the creators are trying to remain true to the original's feeling. However, I still get that Hannah Montana, Disney vibe that I'm not a huge fan of.
** Side note; I'm just now realizing that I'm a 28 year old male, who has been patiently waiting for the premiere of a Disney TV show called Girl Meets World. And, I'm blogging about it the next day after having consumed a few alcoholic beverages. I may hate myself a little. Let's continue... **
The characters are very similar and even the opening episode carries plot points that we saw in the original series. You have Riley, who is a little nerdy and awkward around the opposite sex and you have Maya, who is a trouble youth, possibly someone who will get Riley into a lot of trouble throughout the series, and it was hinted at that she has family issues. Basically, you have a female Cory and Shawn.
In an interesting move, Cory is now a teacher and teaches Riley's class. So I guess, Cory has officially become the new Mr. Feeny(more on Feeny to come).
One of my biggest gripes was that they used the word "world" and awful lot in the first episode. Cory made a big speech about how it's his world and someday it will be Riley's world, but Riley needs to make it her world, and Cory has already met the world, so now it's time for Riley to meet the world. World, world, world.
I think the show will survive a while. It seems to be a good fit for the current Disney line up(not that I've ever watched anything on Disney in the past 10 years) and the show will undoubtedly convey a good message while making kids laugh. As far as for the Boy Meets World fans, I think some will watch just for the cameos. You've already got the familiar Cory and Topanga who seem to be about the same only a little more mature, there are rumors of cameos from Eric and Shawn later on, Minkus was advertised for an upcoming episode as the father of one of Cory's students, and of course, the greatest moment of all...
"Well done, Mr. Matthews."
Mr. Feeny was in Episode 1. And the above line was all it took to keep my hooked for at least the time being.
Give it chance, I say. And if it sucks, go buy the complete series of Boy Meets World on DVD and start over.
-Ryan
www.drinknthinkn.com
"That's just what I want - to be Topanga's boyfriend. And then we can name our children Chewbacca and Plankton."
-Cory from Boy Meets World
Truth be told, there is somewhat of a nostalgic feel to the show that stems from the original. You can very much tell that the creators are trying to remain true to the original's feeling. However, I still get that Hannah Montana, Disney vibe that I'm not a huge fan of.
** Side note; I'm just now realizing that I'm a 28 year old male, who has been patiently waiting for the premiere of a Disney TV show called Girl Meets World. And, I'm blogging about it the next day after having consumed a few alcoholic beverages. I may hate myself a little. Let's continue... **
The characters are very similar and even the opening episode carries plot points that we saw in the original series. You have Riley, who is a little nerdy and awkward around the opposite sex and you have Maya, who is a trouble youth, possibly someone who will get Riley into a lot of trouble throughout the series, and it was hinted at that she has family issues. Basically, you have a female Cory and Shawn.
In an interesting move, Cory is now a teacher and teaches Riley's class. So I guess, Cory has officially become the new Mr. Feeny(more on Feeny to come).
One of my biggest gripes was that they used the word "world" and awful lot in the first episode. Cory made a big speech about how it's his world and someday it will be Riley's world, but Riley needs to make it her world, and Cory has already met the world, so now it's time for Riley to meet the world. World, world, world.
I think the show will survive a while. It seems to be a good fit for the current Disney line up(not that I've ever watched anything on Disney in the past 10 years) and the show will undoubtedly convey a good message while making kids laugh. As far as for the Boy Meets World fans, I think some will watch just for the cameos. You've already got the familiar Cory and Topanga who seem to be about the same only a little more mature, there are rumors of cameos from Eric and Shawn later on, Minkus was advertised for an upcoming episode as the father of one of Cory's students, and of course, the greatest moment of all...
"Well done, Mr. Matthews."
Mr. Feeny was in Episode 1. And the above line was all it took to keep my hooked for at least the time being.
Give it chance, I say. And if it sucks, go buy the complete series of Boy Meets World on DVD and start over.
-Ryan
www.drinknthinkn.com
"That's just what I want - to be Topanga's boyfriend. And then we can name our children Chewbacca and Plankton."
-Cory from Boy Meets World
Wednesday, June 11, 2014
Blogpost #5 - When I Grow Up 2: The Secret of the Ooze
My last post was somewhat of a far fetched bucket list of things I wanted to accomplish in my life at various different ages and stages(watch your back Dr. Seuss). But, the truth is, all those ideas were real to me at one point. I can honestly remember having those thoughts as a younger person and thinking the world was my oyster. Why can't I be a Ninja Turtle? I've got the body type for it, I look like an oversized turtle. My karate skills might need some work(I'm probably some sort of citrus colored belt if I had to guess), but I could totally do it. Why can't I be a professional wrestler? Mick Foley isn't a jacked up genetic freak and he was one of the greatest of all time. And, why can't I be a comedic actor? I'm funny. I make people laugh(my mom always told me they were laughing with me, not at me).
Here I am. Almost 28 years old and still trying to figure out what I want to be when I grow up. The sad thing is, I still want to be all those things I wanted to be when I was 8. I may have grown up (and out) physically, but mentally, I'm still an 8 year old kid who wants to fight bad guys and be a superhero.
I thought the older I got, the more realistic my goals would get, but that's not really the case. Yes, I realize it is physically impossible for me to be a Ninja Turtle. I get it. But can you honestly look me in the eyes and tell me you wouldn't want to be one?
Let's look at reality; I have a job. I have a house payment and various other bills and I'm able to pay for all these things because of my job. I am unbelievably grateful for that and I thank God for all that I have. But there's this piece of me that yearns for something different. I've lost that sense of feeling like anything is possible.
I lay in bed every morning for about 15 minutes dreading the thought of getting up and going to work. Thinking that there has to be something else for me to do in the world. "What I'd really like to do is something extraordinary. Something big. Something mega. Something copious. Something capacious. Something cajunga!"
I was watching a documentary with dad tonight on the Russian Yeti on the Discovery channel. For a minute, I went right back to my 8 year frame of mind. I thought, how cool would it be to become a professional Yeti hunter? I could quit my job, sell my house, invest in various different cameras and equipment for locating this mysterious beast, buy some weaponry to protect myself and just travel to all the locations where there have been supposed Yeti sightings. I could be like the Bear Grylls of mythical creatures, surviving the snowy tundras as I search for what has never been found. But once the documentary was over, I realized it was getting late and I should probably go home and go to bed so I'm not cranky at work tomorrow.
I guess what I'm trying to say is, I don't see anything wrong with having dreams that other people deem impossible. I don't care what people say. Some day, I will be a Ninja Turtle.
-Ryan
www.drinknthinkn.com
"Every day I come by your house and I pick you up. And we go out. We have a few drinks, and a few laughs, and it's great. But you know what the best part of my day is? For about ten seconds, from when I pull up to the curb and when I get to your door, 'cause I think, maybe I'll get up there and I'll knock on the door and you won't be there. No goodbye. No see you later. No nothing. You just left. I don't know much, but I know that."
-Chuckie from Good Will Hunting
Here I am. Almost 28 years old and still trying to figure out what I want to be when I grow up. The sad thing is, I still want to be all those things I wanted to be when I was 8. I may have grown up (and out) physically, but mentally, I'm still an 8 year old kid who wants to fight bad guys and be a superhero.
I thought the older I got, the more realistic my goals would get, but that's not really the case. Yes, I realize it is physically impossible for me to be a Ninja Turtle. I get it. But can you honestly look me in the eyes and tell me you wouldn't want to be one?
Let's look at reality; I have a job. I have a house payment and various other bills and I'm able to pay for all these things because of my job. I am unbelievably grateful for that and I thank God for all that I have. But there's this piece of me that yearns for something different. I've lost that sense of feeling like anything is possible.
I lay in bed every morning for about 15 minutes dreading the thought of getting up and going to work. Thinking that there has to be something else for me to do in the world. "What I'd really like to do is something extraordinary. Something big. Something mega. Something copious. Something capacious. Something cajunga!"
I was watching a documentary with dad tonight on the Russian Yeti on the Discovery channel. For a minute, I went right back to my 8 year frame of mind. I thought, how cool would it be to become a professional Yeti hunter? I could quit my job, sell my house, invest in various different cameras and equipment for locating this mysterious beast, buy some weaponry to protect myself and just travel to all the locations where there have been supposed Yeti sightings. I could be like the Bear Grylls of mythical creatures, surviving the snowy tundras as I search for what has never been found. But once the documentary was over, I realized it was getting late and I should probably go home and go to bed so I'm not cranky at work tomorrow.
I guess what I'm trying to say is, I don't see anything wrong with having dreams that other people deem impossible. I don't care what people say. Some day, I will be a Ninja Turtle.
-Ryan
www.drinknthinkn.com
"Every day I come by your house and I pick you up. And we go out. We have a few drinks, and a few laughs, and it's great. But you know what the best part of my day is? For about ten seconds, from when I pull up to the curb and when I get to your door, 'cause I think, maybe I'll get up there and I'll knock on the door and you won't be there. No goodbye. No see you later. No nothing. You just left. I don't know much, but I know that."
-Chuckie from Good Will Hunting
Saturday, May 17, 2014
Blogpost #4 - When I Grow Up...
My name is Ryan Poland, but you probably know me by my ring name Jason White. During college, I trained at the Wild Samoan Training Center in Florida under the tutelage of Afa, the Wild Samoan. At 22 years old, I made my debut on WWE Smackdown in 2008 in a dark match against Mark Henry. It was what you would call a "squash match". I got my ass handed to me on a silver platter. 4 months later, I made my live television debut in a match against Christian. I lost that match as well, but I at least got some offensive moves in. The match lasted 12 minutes. Week after week, I had match after match. At first, losing most. But then I won one match. And then two. And before I knew it I was on a winning streak. Fast forward another year, I'm the Intercontinental Champion. And the crowd seems to like me. I worked a program with Chris Jericho in 2009 and had some of my favorite matches. Ultimately, he beat me for the title. But that was fine. I wanted bigger. I challenged Randy Orton for the WWE Championship. He turned me down at first, so I had to play some head games. In the end, we had a match at Summer Slam and I won my first WWE Championship. But that wasn't my crowning achievement. At Wrestlemania 19, I squared off against a man whom I idolized; Stone Cole Steve Austin. We went 30 minutes in what was said to be one of the greatest Wrestlemania matches of all time. And, I won. Nobody knew, including me, that this would be Stone Cold's last match in WWE. It was an honor...
No wait, I got it now...
My name is Ryan Poland, but you probably know me by James Ryan. I got my start doing 5 minute stand-up sets at local open mic nights. A few laughs here and there, but nothing really to brag about. After college, I moved to LA. I started showing up at the Improv just hoping someone would no-show and give me the opportunity to perform. One summer night, I got my wish. It was brutal. I was booed off stage faster than anyone in history. But I stayed and watched all the other acts perform, hoping to learn something. I studied everyone that stood on that stage and got a laugh. And I kept going back night after night until finally, another no-show. The manager was pretty hesitant to put me on stage again, but his back was up against a wall. He told me this was my last chance. One "boo", and I was out for good. I went up there and killed. I thought one guy in the front row was going to have a heart attack from laughing so hard. I became a regular there, performing 15 to 20 minutes almost every night. Then, I got offered my first comedy role in a movie. A small part, but definitely good exposure. Next thing I know, I'm the lead in a comedy movie. I'm starring in movies alongside guys like Jim Carrey and Adam Sandler. But I still wanted to expand my resumé. I tried my hand at a dramatic picture. My fans were a little thrown by it, but ultimately, I was happy with the outcome. So I tried it again and blew the minds of everyone. I got the call the very next week. I had been nominated for an Oscar.
Hold it, let's try this...
My name is Raphael. I am cool, but rude. I spend my nights protecting the city with my three brothers and I spend the days training with my father, who technically isn't really my father. He's more like a mentor. I don't handle authority well. I've gotten my brothers and my friend April into numerous tight spots due to my hot temper, but we always end up ok. My father seems to think that society won't accept us, but April seems to like us. And so does our buddy, Casey. I am a master in the art of ninja. The only way you can see me, is if I want you to see me. I live in an old subway station underground that we found one day while walking through the sewers. It's an alright place, but the pizza delivery guy has a hard time finding it. I've battle more Foot soldiers than I care to remember, but it was Oroku Saki who was the real threat. And we took him out, too. Old Shred' did a swan dive, with a half gainer, right into the back of a garbage truck. There will be more threats, no doubt. But, we'll be ready for them. We always are.
One of these should work.
-Ryan
www.drinknthink.com
"What we do in life echoes in eternity."
-Maximus from Gladiator
No wait, I got it now...
My name is Ryan Poland, but you probably know me by James Ryan. I got my start doing 5 minute stand-up sets at local open mic nights. A few laughs here and there, but nothing really to brag about. After college, I moved to LA. I started showing up at the Improv just hoping someone would no-show and give me the opportunity to perform. One summer night, I got my wish. It was brutal. I was booed off stage faster than anyone in history. But I stayed and watched all the other acts perform, hoping to learn something. I studied everyone that stood on that stage and got a laugh. And I kept going back night after night until finally, another no-show. The manager was pretty hesitant to put me on stage again, but his back was up against a wall. He told me this was my last chance. One "boo", and I was out for good. I went up there and killed. I thought one guy in the front row was going to have a heart attack from laughing so hard. I became a regular there, performing 15 to 20 minutes almost every night. Then, I got offered my first comedy role in a movie. A small part, but definitely good exposure. Next thing I know, I'm the lead in a comedy movie. I'm starring in movies alongside guys like Jim Carrey and Adam Sandler. But I still wanted to expand my resumé. I tried my hand at a dramatic picture. My fans were a little thrown by it, but ultimately, I was happy with the outcome. So I tried it again and blew the minds of everyone. I got the call the very next week. I had been nominated for an Oscar.
Hold it, let's try this...
My name is Raphael. I am cool, but rude. I spend my nights protecting the city with my three brothers and I spend the days training with my father, who technically isn't really my father. He's more like a mentor. I don't handle authority well. I've gotten my brothers and my friend April into numerous tight spots due to my hot temper, but we always end up ok. My father seems to think that society won't accept us, but April seems to like us. And so does our buddy, Casey. I am a master in the art of ninja. The only way you can see me, is if I want you to see me. I live in an old subway station underground that we found one day while walking through the sewers. It's an alright place, but the pizza delivery guy has a hard time finding it. I've battle more Foot soldiers than I care to remember, but it was Oroku Saki who was the real threat. And we took him out, too. Old Shred' did a swan dive, with a half gainer, right into the back of a garbage truck. There will be more threats, no doubt. But, we'll be ready for them. We always are.
One of these should work.
-Ryan
www.drinknthink.com
"What we do in life echoes in eternity."
-Maximus from Gladiator
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