Blogpost #5 - When I Grow Up 2: The Secret of the Ooze

My last post was somewhat of a far fetched bucket list of things I wanted to accomplish in my life at various different ages and stages(watch your back Dr. Seuss). But, the truth is, all those ideas were real to me at one point. I can honestly remember having those thoughts as a younger person and thinking the world was my oyster. Why can't I be a Ninja Turtle? I've got the body type for it, I look like an oversized turtle. My karate skills might need some work(I'm probably some sort of citrus colored belt if I had to guess), but I could totally do it. Why can't I be a professional wrestler? Mick Foley isn't a jacked up genetic freak and he was one of the greatest of all time. And, why can't I be a comedic actor? I'm funny. I make people laugh(my mom always told me they were laughing with me, not at me).

Here I am. Almost 28 years old and still trying to figure out what I want to be when I grow up. The sad thing is, I still want to be all those things I wanted to be when I was 8. I may have grown up (and out) physically, but mentally, I'm still an 8 year old kid who wants to fight bad guys and be a superhero.

I thought the older I got, the more realistic my goals would get, but that's not really the case. Yes, I realize it is physically impossible for me to be a Ninja Turtle. I get it. But can you honestly look me in the eyes and tell me you wouldn't want to be one?

Let's look at reality; I have a job. I have a house payment and various other bills and I'm able to pay for all these things because of my job. I am unbelievably grateful for that and I thank God for all that I have. But there's this piece of me that yearns for something different. I've lost that sense of feeling like anything is possible.

I lay in bed every morning for about 15 minutes dreading the thought of getting up and going to work. Thinking that there has to be something else for me to do in the world. "What I'd really like to do is something extraordinary. Something big. Something mega. Something copious. Something capacious. Something cajunga!"

I was watching a documentary with dad tonight on the Russian Yeti on the Discovery channel. For a minute, I went right back to my 8 year frame of mind. I thought, how cool would it be to become a professional Yeti hunter? I could quit my job, sell my house, invest in various different cameras and equipment for locating this mysterious beast, buy some weaponry to protect myself and just travel to all the locations where there have been supposed Yeti sightings. I could be like the Bear Grylls of mythical creatures, surviving the snowy tundras as I search for what has never been found. But once the documentary was over, I realized it was getting late and I should probably go home and go to bed so I'm not cranky at work tomorrow. 

I guess what I'm trying to say is, I don't see anything wrong with having dreams that other people deem impossible. I don't care what people say. Some day, I will be a Ninja Turtle. 

-Ryan
www.drinknthinkn.com



"Every day I come by your house and I pick you up. And we go out. We have a few drinks, and a few laughs, and it's great. But you know what the best part of my day is? For about ten seconds, from when I pull up to the curb and when I get to your door, 'cause I think, maybe I'll get up there and I'll knock on the door and you won't be there. No goodbye. No see you later. No nothing. You just left. I don't know much, but I know that."
-Chuckie from Good Will Hunting

Blogpost #3 - TMNT

Alright, it's finally here...

We are in the era of remakes and reboots and sequels(oh my), and nothing is sacred to these makers of movies. Well, let me tell you something; The Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles are fucking sacred.

Let me be clear; I'm not one of those people that gets all pissy and hates it when something I liked as a child gets remade. I actually quite enjoy it. I was excited when the new Nightmare on Elm Street came out(although a tad disappointed with the end result) and I actually think it's a great time to remake a lot of these older horror movies because of how far technology has come. And, when something you love gets remade, it bring back all those memories and nostalgia.

I can't tell you how many VHS tapes I have of the Ninja Turtles that are worn down because of how many times I've watched them. It's embarrassing how many action figures(not dolls) I have of those heroes in a half shell that I absolutely refuse to throw away(yes, I'm 27 years old). I was, and always will be, a huge TMNT fan.

I remember when the most recent animated movie came out in 2007. I was in college and went to see it with my roommate. And, I must admit, I quite enjoyed it. I mean, it was nothing compared to the live action, animatronic creatures from the Jim Henson workshop or the crappily animated series I watched as a kid where sometimes the color of the bandanas were wrong on the turtles and sometimes the talking didn't match with their mouths, but it was definitely a good movie.

When Nickelodeon started airing the new animated series, I got a bit nervous. I would probably compare the feeling I had to when Disney started making new episodes of "Doug". It was like a small morsel of excitement covered in creamy nervousness. Because the one thing you never want to see is something that meant so much to you as a child ruined for a new generation. And then today, this gem was birthed out onto the internet...

I haven't seen the movie yet so therefore I haven't made up my mind, but I am severely worried. The trailer leaves a lot to be desired and it looks as though it truly will be an entirely new crime fighting foursome(ew) than the one I'm used to. Honestly, I don't mind change when it comes to stuff like this(except for that whole alien nonsense that we all read about when the film was first discussed). It appears as though the Shredder, played by William Fichtner(whom I actually like, by the way) is somewhat responsible for the, shall we say, creation of the turtles. I don't mind this tweak. If anything, it gives the Shredder more motive to become the bad guy. I'm still not sure how I feel about him not being Japanese, but we'll see how it goes.

In another odd twist, the Shredder used to work with the father of April O'Neil(every time I hear this name all I can think of is the very racist sounding foot soldier from the original movie referring to her as Ms. O'Neir). This too is okay with me. These two changes I think should tie the story together nicely.

Their new look? Meh, I'm still not sure. Megan Fox as April? Meh, I'm not sold on it. Also, no Splinter in the trailer? This intrigues(yet still worries) me.

The trailer has it's ups and downs and unfortunately I'm more worried for it now than ever. I will without question be seeing this August. I have to. I just hope Michael Bay doesn't destroy my childhood like most of the buildings and cars in his movies.

What does everyone else think of the trailer? Comment below or e-mail me at poland.ryanj@gmail.com.

-Ryan
www.drinknthinkn.com


"Death comes for us all, Oroku Saki, but something much worse comes for you. For when you die, it will be...without honor."
-Splinter in Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles: The Movie